Saturday, December 31, 2011

Happy New Year,Munchers!

And a good one I expect it to be,as well. I am leaving with my awesome new girlfriend to the glorious gay mecca of San Francisco.

I have graduated from college, am looking for a job, and can soon leave this southern hellhole with the woman I love.

All I can say, ladygays, is that it has been quite the ride these last few years, and I am soooo happy to be getting out of school, out of my mother's torture chamber, and on with my life.

Happy New Year, muff lovers! 

I hope this one is as good for you guys as I expect it to be for me!

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Fab Lesbian Hair!

So, lovelies, we all know the importance of the Lesbian Haircut. 
(Photo Courtesy of Queer Cuts of Our Lives)

It helps us scream "I'm QUEER!" to the world, and helps us identify each other. These cuts come in a million shapes and sizes, so sometimes it's hard to pick one. However, Shannon desperately  needed a great queer cut, so, today, I took the plunge, and went to the salon.

After much agonizing over photos on Queer Cuts of Our Lives, I had found the perfect queer cut for me.
(Photo courtesy of Queer Cuts of Out Lives)
A little modification, a great stylist, and several hours later....

(Yes this is really me!!)
Shannon has a great queer cut! How you like them apples, hmmm???

I like  it a lot! So link us all to your great queer hair cut photos, lesbos!

Friday, December 16, 2011

Shannon is GRADUATING!

Yup, you heard me right, dykes! After all the blood, sweat and tears(read: hours and hours in front of a computer) Shannon has earned her Associate's in Applied Sciences Specializing in Computer Networking. 
It was quite a feat, let me tell ya! So, today, I had a little celebration. Went to the 
with my awesome buddy Brian to celebrate. Had some awesome food, a great server, and a high old time! Happy Graduation, to all who will be finishing, and to me!

Monday, November 28, 2011

My School Endorses Chik Fil A Hate!

Well, that might be a little unfair. After all, the school itself has never endorsed blatantly discriminatory practices. However, they sure as hell ignored me when I went straight to the top and voiced my concerns about Chik Fil A's track record with anti-gay organizations. 

Oh, didn't know about that? Well then, let me inform you. Chik Fil A is VERY homophobic. In fact, they donated more than $2 Million Dollars to anti- gay groups, and even explicitly admitted to not liking same sex couples.

How about that, hmmm??? 

So you guys can only imagine how OMFG ABSOLUTELY LIVID my out and proud ass was to find these fuckers at my school today with bells on. Let me tell ya, 'mosexuals, the steam is STILL coming out of my ears.

And it is not likely to stop any time soon. You see, my dykelicious ladies, I emailed the President of York Technical College here in Rock Hill, to voice my concerns after they elected to close the school dining hall in June of this year.

He initially brushed me off with some bullshit about how political positions did not play a part in choosing school vendors. Ok, fine. But I think we all know that if this were a company that endorsed racist rhetoric, they'd be allowed nowhere near here. Why is homophobia any different? It shouldn't be, but it is, and here is the proof. 
(Chik Fil A Set Up at School Today)

I warned you guys that I'd be grouchy as hell this time of year. Well, we're getting off to a fantastic start with this bigoted fuckery. Color me grinched the fuck out, today, dykes.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

The Season is Upon Us, Lovelies!

I missed the opportunity to make a Thanksgiving post, because it was just so damned busy. I will not bore you all with the details of my busy but uneventful extended holiday weekend, I'll just say I hope you all had a 
if you celebrate. Well, with the end of Thanksgiving, we all know what that means- the onslaught of the December Holiday Season. 
In America, that largely translates to Christmas. 
Which is fine- after all, I do celebrate the holiday in a secular sense. There's never anything wrong with giving gifts and being nice and charitable acts and all that. But, it never stops there. Never. Instead, the devoutly religious among us use this season to proselytize and attempt to force the rest of the world to celebrate in a religious sense. Hence this ridiculous, imagined War on Christmas that the GOP and their ilk are bandying on about these days. 

The sad thing is, most of these people are just too ignorant to realize two things: for one, they stole the holiday from the Pagans in the first place. It was originally the Festival of Yule. 

They don't even know the history of their own damn holiday, and yes, this includes treasured traditions of things like gifts and Christmas trees.

The second thing the fiercely defensive and blindly religious do not realize is that, yes, there are other systems of belief out there. Really. Not everyone is a Christian. To recognize that is not to OMFG ATTACK CHRISTIANITY, but to recognize that there are seven billion people on this planet, and not all of them have the same beliefs that you do. There are several holidays of several systems of belief during this time of year. So, to that end, does it really kill you that much to say 

and respect these basic facts? I know I am probably preaching to the choir here, dykes, but, if I seem to become increasingly grouchy as the season rolls by, there ya have it. I'm thinking by the end, I'll have turned this into an entire series post: The Things That Piss Me Off About the Holiday Season or some such. Stay tuned- gonna be a loooonnnngggg month of December. 

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Why Lady GaGa is My Shero and Should Be Yours Too.

Yo, dykes! What's shakin'? I'll tell ya what's shakin. Lady Gaga. And not just shakin' her ass whilst dancing on stage, either.
You see, lesbos, Lady Gaga is one of our biggest allies, in case you didn't know. This Lady(pun intended) is making waves and changing our world right before our eyes. 
She has even turned down a deal worth milions with Target due to their donating to anti- gay politicians, and she has also, in her most recent, bold, endeavor among her countless other supportive projects,has started the Born This Way Foundation to empower LGBT youth and educate people on LGBT issues. How you like them apples? Gaga is the shit, and we're lucky to have her. I salute you, Mother Monster. You are my Shero.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Series: Dykin' It Up:Episode 5: Playa Playa!

Yup, it's that time, lesbos! Another series post. This one is an ongoing issue for us *ahem* Single dykes.
(Photo courtesy of

We all know what it's like. We're cruisin,' hittin' the bars, the gay dating sites, and just having a good time while looking for, you know, her. The proverbial, ever- illusive
But hey, finding *ahem* her is often a lot harder than one might think. So, instead of fixating on the first girl we meet, sometimes we just wanna play the field.
(Famous Playa from the L Word)

But when does playing the field become OMFG I CHEATED ON MY NEW GIRL??? 

Hard to tell, really. Sometimes you start spending time with someone, and she, or you, or both of you might start considering it a relationship without actually saying that. So, in this instance, what happens to the other girls you were seeing? Do you tell them face to face, or do you simply change your Facebook Relationship Status?
After all, if you don't set this straight, dykes, in a timely, tactful fashion, you might wake up one morning to a horror like THIS:
And honestly wonder which chic did it, and who it is referring to. So, m' ladygays, how do you handle the transition from dating around to being exclusive? Or do you avoid this drama altogether by only dating one girl at a time? Somehow, I think, while the former might be more fun, the latter is certainly a lot less drama.

Friday, November 4, 2011

The Awesomeness That is a Straight Bride Supporting Gay Marriage

Alrighty, 'mosexuals, it is time to honor a lady I had never heard of until I signed up on Seeded Buzz. Ladies, meet Morgan,also known as Cape Code Bride. She lives in Massachusetts, the first state to allow same- sex marriage, and she is a supporter.
She runs a blog called A Cape Cod Bride, and I came across her while looking for "seeds" to plant that fit the interest of this blog,and I ran across a fabulous post of hers from January 24, 2010 entitled A Word (or Many) About Gay Marriage. 

While looking for something to post, I got a whole lot more here, lovelies. I got a lesson, an important, valuable lesson: Some straight people do get it.

While I know many loving, gay affirming straight people both online and off, they seem to simply sympathize for a moment, then go on with their lives of heterosexual privilege, never really looking to see what we go through just to live our lives in a society that says that we aren't good enough, and that it is ok to discriminate. For this reason, I had drawn a very clear line in the sand between straight folks and me as a method of self preservation. Morgan's post inspired another Ally,Tabitha, to write a heart- felt post of frustration on the subject as well. I was wrong to assume no straight person gets it at all though, as some people really are 

I hope you will all read her blog as well, and, if you had the same gay vs straight hang ups that I did, learn something from it. Also, it's a GREAT place for ideas to plan your out of this world, "budget beautiful"(her words!) Big Gay Wedding!

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Going Down- A Few Tips From the Lesbians!

Alrighty, my lovely lessies! Time for a post on a subject I just know we all love: SEX. More importantly, the best part of lesbian sex. Yup, you guessed it- we're gonna discuss the art of ORAL SEX.
(Yes it's cartoon porn sue me)

Now, listen up, dykes. I don't know about you, but the dreaded Lesbian Bed Death is easily the quickest way to end a relationship for me. If the sex is bad, it's only a matter of time. 

Remember how those sparks flew when you first met?

Well, that should continue throughout the relationship, and, especially into the bedroom.

Now, ladies, I am sure you expected this post to be a step by step guide. I could do that, but honestly? It has been my experience that gasp! EVERY WOMAN IS DIFFERENT.

My advice is simple: Communicate. Yep, you heard me. TALK TO HER.

Ask her what she wants. Hey, you can't read her mind, and how else will you find out? I repeat: EVERY WOMAN IS DIFFERENT.

However, since we all love talking about sex(or at least I think we all love talking about sex), we can, just for fun, share a few tips. But hey, if I share, you better, too!

1. TAKE YOUR TIME. It's not a marathon. No need to rush to the finish line. Also, the longer you linger, the more she knows you are enjoying it.

2. Pay attention to her body movements. If she flinches away, you're doing something she doesn't like. If she arches toward you, keep doing what you're doing.

3.Don't be too rough! You might hurt her without meaning to.

Alrighty, I have several more, but I'll stop there for now! Your turn! C'mon, we're all family here, share and share alike, so we can all be happier lesbians!
After all,  being women, we have skills straight guys only wish they had! Happy Sharing!

Monday, October 24, 2011

Series: Dykin' It Up: Episode 4: Closeted VS. Out

Alrighty, Lesbos, here's another Great Divide post, since, by now, y'all know how I feel about all the crazy division within our own community. But this is a little different; ie, this is a divide I understand. The constant battle between queers who are 
Those who have the balls to be OUT.
Now, fags, I do realize that people have their reasons for  being in the closet. There is, of course, the usual reason: RELIGION.
By now, you all know my story, and you know how much complete disdain I have for organized religion of any kind. I do realize, however, that it can be difficult to stop trying to pray your gay away, and even more difficult to prove to your ignorant religious relatives that it cannot be done. So, instead, you keep trying.

The next usual reason is of course fear of losing family and friends.
(See reason #1 for the usual origin of such fears)
So yes, my fellow muff lovers, I do get that various people have their reasons for being closeted. But I also disagree with 99% of them. Furthermore, where there's a will there's a way. If you want to be out and proud, you will. 
(Just one wave of a pride flag in public- that's all you need!)
Now, before you all start yelling and decide I am a horrible, judgmental person, hear me out, mmmk? 

I get that it is OMFG NOT MY DECISION as to when someone comes out. But it is, however, my decision as to how I react to it. I absolutely, positively will not date a closeted woman. Ever. For any reason. 

But on the flip side, they would more than likely not bend to my demands to come out, and I certainly would not bend to their wills to become closeted again. This is usually the consensus when I have this conversation with other openly gay people. However, admittedly, I do not know many closeted people. So, those of you not yet Out, this is your turn to shine. Why are you closeted? Do you plan to come out? If not, why not?

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Happy National Coming Out Day!

I hope you all had an enjoyable one. If you were in the closet, I hope you found the courage to use today to come out to at least one person, or, even better, come all the way out and wave that Pride Flag
high, loud, and proud. If you were already out, I hope you found a few random people to come out to today, like I did, and have every year since I have been aware that we had a day just for Coming out. My people this year? Random people in a convenience store. 
Before I asked for my cigarettes and flashed my ID, I simply said to the clerk, "Happy National Coming Out Day!" 

He gave me that blank, but obligatory smile we have all seen on the faces of store clerks 
and said in a confused tone, "Excuse me?" 
So, I patiently explained to him that I am gay and that it is National Coming Out day and that 
to him. He looked confused, and so did the woman in line behind me, so I grinned at him, asked for my cigs while flashing my ID,  happily took my change, flashed him my most winning smile, and left. I am sure he, and the women in line, thought I was insane, but so be it, win some, lose some, and, at the end of the day, I honored National Coming Out Day 2011 by coming out to someone new, and that is what is important. This day should be important to ALL LGBT people and allies. I will leave you with the most beautiful video I have seen advocating LGBT rights in a long time. Hope your National Coming Out Day was a good one, Dykes.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Series: Dykin' It Up: Episode 3: Butch Bathroom Blues

My butch sisters, this one is for you! For only we can understand the anxiety that comes along with the dreaded visit to the Public Restroom. 

Now,for most female bodied humans, when we've had a few too many beers or our tampons are about to give out This
is a very welcome sign. However, no matter how badly needed, for us less than outwardly effeminate female bodied humans, it is often a panic inducing nightmare.
I cannot tell you how many straight women have positively 
screeched at me for being in the ladies room. Once, one even threatened to call security, and, when she did finally realize I was in the right rest room, she didn't bother to apologize, just glared at me and left. 

So, my boyish looking lesbians, how do we combat the issue of angry straight women who do not think we belong in public restrooms? Of course, the ideal solution is the gender neutral option 
in all public establishments that offer restroom facilities. After all, when you look something like THIS:
it just makes more sense to go ahead and save yourself the hassle and humiliation and possible calls to security by damsels in distress who have branded you a perv before giving you the chance to say, "Hey, I need to change my plug, too." But that is pretty much a pipe dream at the moment.
Which brings me to my personal solution to this problem: TAMPONS.
Yup, you heard me right, butch dykes. We still get periods, and no man would be caught dead going into a ladies' restroom with a visible tampon, no matter what kind of pervert he might be. Not that you really want to go flashing those around, but I swear to you, it works every time. Whether you need it or not, make sure people see it as you are going in there, and all should go much more smoothly than usual.

So, tell me, my beautiful butch sisters, how do you combat this issue? Any stories, ideas, or anything else surrounding gender non- conformity and public restrooms greatly appreciated!