Monday, October 24, 2011

Series: Dykin' It Up: Episode 4: Closeted VS. Out

Alrighty, Lesbos, here's another Great Divide post, since, by now, y'all know how I feel about all the crazy division within our own community. But this is a little different; ie, this is a divide I understand. The constant battle between queers who are 
Those who have the balls to be OUT.
Now, fags, I do realize that people have their reasons for  being in the closet. There is, of course, the usual reason: RELIGION.
By now, you all know my story, and you know how much complete disdain I have for organized religion of any kind. I do realize, however, that it can be difficult to stop trying to pray your gay away, and even more difficult to prove to your ignorant religious relatives that it cannot be done. So, instead, you keep trying.

The next usual reason is of course fear of losing family and friends.
(See reason #1 for the usual origin of such fears)
So yes, my fellow muff lovers, I do get that various people have their reasons for being closeted. But I also disagree with 99% of them. Furthermore, where there's a will there's a way. If you want to be out and proud, you will. 
(Just one wave of a pride flag in public- that's all you need!)
Now, before you all start yelling and decide I am a horrible, judgmental person, hear me out, mmmk? 

I get that it is OMFG NOT MY DECISION as to when someone comes out. But it is, however, my decision as to how I react to it. I absolutely, positively will not date a closeted woman. Ever. For any reason. 

But on the flip side, they would more than likely not bend to my demands to come out, and I certainly would not bend to their wills to become closeted again. This is usually the consensus when I have this conversation with other openly gay people. However, admittedly, I do not know many closeted people. So, those of you not yet Out, this is your turn to shine. Why are you closeted? Do you plan to come out? If not, why not?

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Happy National Coming Out Day!

I hope you all had an enjoyable one. If you were in the closet, I hope you found the courage to use today to come out to at least one person, or, even better, come all the way out and wave that Pride Flag
high, loud, and proud. If you were already out, I hope you found a few random people to come out to today, like I did, and have every year since I have been aware that we had a day just for Coming out. My people this year? Random people in a convenience store. 
Before I asked for my cigarettes and flashed my ID, I simply said to the clerk, "Happy National Coming Out Day!" 

He gave me that blank, but obligatory smile we have all seen on the faces of store clerks 
and said in a confused tone, "Excuse me?" 
So, I patiently explained to him that I am gay and that it is National Coming Out day and that 
to him. He looked confused, and so did the woman in line behind me, so I grinned at him, asked for my cigs while flashing my ID,  happily took my change, flashed him my most winning smile, and left. I am sure he, and the women in line, thought I was insane, but so be it, win some, lose some, and, at the end of the day, I honored National Coming Out Day 2011 by coming out to someone new, and that is what is important. This day should be important to ALL LGBT people and allies. I will leave you with the most beautiful video I have seen advocating LGBT rights in a long time. Hope your National Coming Out Day was a good one, Dykes.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Series: Dykin' It Up: Episode 3: Butch Bathroom Blues

My butch sisters, this one is for you! For only we can understand the anxiety that comes along with the dreaded visit to the Public Restroom. 

Now,for most female bodied humans, when we've had a few too many beers or our tampons are about to give out This
is a very welcome sign. However, no matter how badly needed, for us less than outwardly effeminate female bodied humans, it is often a panic inducing nightmare.
I cannot tell you how many straight women have positively 
screeched at me for being in the ladies room. Once, one even threatened to call security, and, when she did finally realize I was in the right rest room, she didn't bother to apologize, just glared at me and left. 

So, my boyish looking lesbians, how do we combat the issue of angry straight women who do not think we belong in public restrooms? Of course, the ideal solution is the gender neutral option 
in all public establishments that offer restroom facilities. After all, when you look something like THIS:
it just makes more sense to go ahead and save yourself the hassle and humiliation and possible calls to security by damsels in distress who have branded you a perv before giving you the chance to say, "Hey, I need to change my plug, too." But that is pretty much a pipe dream at the moment.
Which brings me to my personal solution to this problem: TAMPONS.
Yup, you heard me right, butch dykes. We still get periods, and no man would be caught dead going into a ladies' restroom with a visible tampon, no matter what kind of pervert he might be. Not that you really want to go flashing those around, but I swear to you, it works every time. Whether you need it or not, make sure people see it as you are going in there, and all should go much more smoothly than usual.

So, tell me, my beautiful butch sisters, how do you combat this issue? Any stories, ideas, or anything else surrounding gender non- conformity and public restrooms greatly appreciated!

Sunday, October 2, 2011

She's Closeted, I'm Out, She's Religious, I'm Not- Dealbreakers!

Yup, lovely lessies, it's that time. Time to discuss what you WILL NOT put up with in a relationship. That isn't to say one needs to be discriminatory, but one does need to have standards. So, I am gonna share my OMFG SUPER DUPER NO NO'S when it comes to dating, and I want you to do the same! 

Here goes! The first one, is, of course, RELIGION.
Now, dykes, anyone who knows me, or has read this blog, knows I have a painful past with organized religion and believe it to be harmful. But that doesn't mean I have not attempted to be open minded on this front. In fact, I once dated..yes...wait for it... a Fundamentalist Baptist.
I loved her enough to allow her to have crosses on our walls at home, and other religious relics, and, once, even use our apartment as a location for a prayer circle. 

But that wasn't enough. The beginning of the end was when she came home with a THREE-FOOT PLASTER JESUS

 which she erected in pride of position in our living room.I told her to get rid of it. She told me our home would be a House of the LORD. Of course that did it for me, and we broke up soon after. Since that debacle, my religion dealbreaker goes something like this:

Religion: Nothing organized or fundamentalist in nature. It is fine to believe in *something,* but you better be able to tell me why it matters to you. "It's the way I was raised," or "because [insert 'holy' document here] says so" doesn't even begin to cut it. Nor do claims of "second births" or "epiphanies." That will only make me question your sanity. 

Dealbreaker #2- Closets. 
Should be self explanatory enough. Keep your shame to yourself, I want no part of it. There are very few justifiable reasons for not coming out, and I won't kowtow to your bullshit after nearly 16 years of being Out and Proud.

Now, this next one usually gets me a lot of flack: KIDS.

Don't want 'em, don't wanna raise yours. Now, do not confuse this with my OMFG HATING BABIES!!! I do not hate children. I simply have no desire to be a mother. Simple enough. Parenthood isn't for everyone, and it most certainly is not for me.

Now, dykes, this last one is HUGE.

Absolutely, positively NO REPUBLICANS. Gay Republicans are fucking ridiculous. If you willfully associate with a party that actively works to deny you your basic human rights, you are an idiot, and I have no room in my life for idiots.

So, lesbos, those are my biggies. What are yours, and why? Tell me!