Series: Dykin' It Up: Episode 3: Butch Bathroom Blues

My butch sisters, this one is for you! For only we can understand the anxiety that comes along with the dreaded visit to the Public Restroom. 


Now,for most female bodied humans, when we've had a few too many beers or our tampons are about to give out This

is a very welcome sign. However, no matter how badly needed, for us less than outwardly effeminate female bodied humans, it is often a panic inducing nightmare.

I cannot tell you how many straight women have positively 

screeched at me for being in the ladies room. Once, one even threatened to call security, and, when she did finally realize I was in the right rest room, she didn't bother to apologize, just glared at me and left. 

So, my boyish looking lesbians, how do we combat the issue of angry straight women who do not think we belong in public restrooms? Of course, the ideal solution is the gender neutral option 

in all public establishments that offer restroom facilities. After all, when you look something like THIS:

it just makes more sense to go ahead and save yourself the hassle and humiliation and possible calls to security by damsels in distress who have branded you a perv before giving you the chance to say, "Hey, I need to change my plug, too." But that is pretty much a pipe dream at the moment.

Which brings me to my personal solution to this problem: TAMPONS.

Yup, you heard me right, butch dykes. We still get periods, and no man would be caught dead going into a ladies' restroom with a visible tampon, no matter what kind of pervert he might be. Not that you really want to go flashing those around, but I swear to you, it works every time. Whether you need it or not, make sure people see it as you are going in there, and all should go much more smoothly than usual.

So, tell me, my beautiful butch sisters, how do you combat this issue? Any stories, ideas, or anything else surrounding gender non- conformity and public restrooms greatly appreciated!

Series: Dykin' It Up

Episode One: I Don't Wanna Be a Boy..But I Wouldn't Mind Looking Like One

We've all been there, homogays. We don't identify with the heteronormative gender binary, and sometimes some of us wouldn't mind expressing that, right? That is kinda where I am at right now. I am hardly FTM, but I do identify genderqueer.

 So how do I express that to the world? Well, there are many ways to show off your queerness, dykes. We all get that *thrill* when people mistake us for men, don't we? But the thing is, we are not men. Nature told us so when she delivered our tits, thighs, and asses, didn't she? And don't even GET ME STARTED on Aunt Flo.

Just UGH.

But fear not! There are ways to make oneself appear more manly despite our undeniably *ahem* womanly figures. 
Ladygays, you are not doomed to forever presenting yourselves as This

If you don't want to. Here are some helpful tips, courtesy of my awesomely wise buddy from Connexion.org to help us all achieve that hot butch look we crave.

First, those pesky breasts gotta be compressed. They are, of course, the biggest give away as far as your female body goes. Underworks.com makes some awesome binders, and the guy who designs them is well aware of who his customers are.

You DO NOT want to use Ace Bandages.

  

They are not meant for binding, and things get compressed that should not.It could result in some seriously bad shit, like pneumonia. Seriously, don't do it. Get a real binder, again, found at Underworks.com, and get the smallest size you think you can fit into, and that is a healthy way to flatten those annoyingly female tits. 

Once the binder is on, lie on the bed and press the tissue to the side. Be advised ladies- prolonged binding could permanently change the consistency of the breast tissue, and, hence, the appearance of the ya- yas. 

Also, compression shorts have been suggested for hips and thighs. 

Finally, nothing screams "MANLY!" like a great pair of shit- kickin' combat boots.

Steel toed works great if you live in an area full of ignorant rednecks like I do. Not condoning violence, but, you know. 

And, of course every good dyke knows about those infamous Lesbian haircuts! 

And here you have it, girly 'mos! Everything you need to complete the perfect dyke look. Any questions, just ask! Good luck turning that pesky girl bod into an (apparently) boyish one. Enjoy! 

Oh, and girls? If you didn't figure it out, you can get stuck in a binder. Have some help available in case this happens. And if you're one of those sexy spectacle wearing lesbians, remove them before scooting into that tight ass piece of tit binding wonder material.

That's all for now, folks! Hope you enjoyed this first entry to Dykin' It Up. To be continued...