Hope it was a good one. Alas, I don't really have that going on for me. My father and mother and sister did what all followers of the One True Religion do on Sunday, especially on Holiday Sundays: they went to church. But y'all bitches know I don't roll like that, so, of course I stayed home.
I had prepared to catch up on some homework while the house was quiet(don't worry, I did, I got a whole program done!), but then a much more interesting use of my time showed up on my doorstep: my on again off again booty call.
Now, ladies, this is one hot dyke, let me tell ya. I could never date her, too much drama, but I can sure as hell fuck her. and I did. It was a quickie, but well worth it, and I had to usher her
unceremoniously out the door so I could perform the post-forbidden-sex-clean-up before the parentals returned.
Unfortunately, 'mos, I still sleep in my childhood bed.
Not exactly ideal for lady lovin',ya know? So I took the next available alternative...wait for it...you guessed it...MY PARENTS' BED.
Now, as I know exactly how my mother arranges her room and makes her bed, as its been exactly the same for the last twenty years (not an exaggeration), this would not have been a problem had I been less careless and had more time. I was sitting here, diligently doing Windows Server Labs, all clean and tidy and ordered as if I had not just been fucking in my parents' bed, when I hear my mother SHRIEK in alarm.
While not the calmest woman on the planet, my mother is generally not one for spewing expletives on a Sunday, so I knew something was up, and I also knew it just had to be my fault. Sure enough, a few seconds later, she barrels into the room and throws something at me. Guess what it is? MY STRAP ON DILDO.
(Y'all didn't really think I was gonna show you my dick did you?)
I had left MY DICK ON MY PARENTS' BEDSIDE TABLE.
We stare at each other in silence. I look from my mother to the sex toy and back again I don't know how many times. My Twenty minutes of fun had turned into my worst nightmare. She didn't say anything though. She just stared at me, then left. Perhaps she thought the embarrassment was enough? Either way, dykes, I'm off the hook. Sigh of Relief. Happy Father's Day indeed.