Saturday, June 18, 2011

Series: Dykin' It Up

Episode One: I Don't Wanna Be a Boy..But I Wouldn't Mind Looking Like One

We've all been there, homogays. We don't identify with the heteronormative gender binary, and sometimes some of us wouldn't mind expressing that, right? That is kinda where I am at right now. I am hardly FTM, but I do identify genderqueer.

 So how do I express that to the world? Well, there are many ways to show off your queerness, dykes. We all get that *thrill* when people mistake us for men, don't we? But the thing is, we are not men. Nature told us so when she delivered our tits, thighs, and asses, didn't she? And don't even GET ME STARTED on Aunt Flo.

Just UGH.

But fear not! There are ways to make oneself appear more manly despite our undeniably *ahem* womanly figures
Ladygays, you are not doomed to forever presenting yourselves as This
If you don't want to. Here are some helpful tips, courtesy of my awesomely wise buddy from to help us all achieve that hot butch look we crave.

First, those pesky breasts gotta be compressed. They are, of course, the biggest give away as far as your female body goes. makes some awesome binders, and the guy who designs them is well aware of who his customers are.
You DO NOT want to use Ace Bandages.


They are not meant for binding, and things get compressed that should not.It could result in some seriously bad shit, like pneumonia. Seriously, don't do it. Get a real binder, again, found at, and get the smallest size you think you can fit into, and that is a healthy way to flatten those annoyingly female tits. 
Once the binder is on, lie on the bed and press the tissue to the side. Be advised ladies- prolonged binding could permanently change the consistency of the breast tissue, and, hence, the appearance of the ya- yas. 
Also, compression shorts have been suggested for hips and thighs. 

Finally, nothing screams "MANLY!" like a great pair of shit- kickin' combat boots.

Steel toed works great if you live in an area full of ignorant rednecks like I do. Not condoning violence, but, you know. 

And, of course every good dyke knows about those infamous Lesbian haircuts! 

And here you have it, girly 'mos! Everything you need to complete the perfect dyke look. Any questions, just ask! Good luck turning that pesky girl bod into an (apparently) boyish one. Enjoy! 

Oh, and girls? If you didn't figure it out, you can get stuck in a binder. Have some help available in case this happens. And if you're one of those sexy spectacle wearing lesbians, remove them before scooting into that tight ass piece of tit binding wonder material.

That's all for now, folks! Hope you enjoyed this first entry to Dykin' It Up. To be continued...

No comments:

Post a Comment