Friday, September 30, 2011

Series: Dykin' It Up: Episode 2: Masc vs Femme: The Lesbian Version

Yup, the "Series" posts are back, dykes! And this time, we address something that is a kind of ongoing issue with both gay men and gay women: That good ol' Masculine/Feminine Debate.

This is a complex issue, and one with many sides. We've all seen the profiles on mainstream gay sites where gay men have lines that go something like THIS:
As if there is something wrong with being *ahem* visibly gay.

Also, there is, as evidenced by the shot above, often an element of weight prejudice and racism, but That is a story for another day.

So, how does this apply to us, lesbos? I'll tell you. There is definitely a divide between Butches/Bois and Femmes. Femmes often feel invisible.  

I see it all over the internet, femmes constantly looking for ways to OMFG PROVE THEIR QUEERNESS, almost to the point of starting a 
Which I think is great for them. I've no idea what it's like to walk into a gay bar and have people think I am straight. I am pretty sure I'd be horrified, and these lovely ladies endure that on the regular. So this leads to the aforementioned 

Femmes feel invisible, and as if they aren't queer enough, and are therefore intimidated by women who look like THIS:
on a night out with the lesbians. It seems no matter how much rainbow regalia they wear, we butches don't give them the time of day because we assume they are straight. There is also the resentment at the heterosexual privilege that femmes enjoy that we butches, bois, and genderqueers will never know. We feel like we have it harder- and we do- than our femme counterparts, because we simply can't fit as well into mainstream society.I mean you are a whole lot less likely to get gay bashed if you look like THIS
than the hot butch above.

There is all of this to address, and so much more. So let's start a dialogue, Dykes. How do we bridge this divide? You tell me. All I know is that it isn't a good thing.


  1. Check out Butch'll get some support, and there are workshops for femme allies....