Saturday, April 21, 2012

Series: Dykin' It Up: Episode 9: Where the Bois Are

Yo, girly 'mos! What's shakin'? Something jiggly on someone hot for you, I hope. Well, this week, we're gonna talk about a subculture of the lesbian subculture: 

You know. Studs. Butches. Andros. Masculine of center women loving women. Not only am I one of them, I love dating them, too. This is more than a little unconventional, as anyone reading this blog is probably well aware of. We are used to, most often, seeing 

pairings. This makes sense, as we all grew up around straight people, and our relationships, even though we are gay, often mimic what is largely considered to be the norm. Also, another common pairing one sees is

This is most likely due to the fact that your average horny, drooling straight guy

fetishizes femme women together via porn. 

So, dykes, where does that leave the rest of us? You know, us bois who love bois.

For some reason, even amongst other lesbians, we are left out in the cold. People say all kinds of things. We've all heard it.

"It doesn't look right."

"You should date a femme."

"Isn't that like dating a man?"

On and on. I get so sick of hearing it. Case in point: I am a stud. I am a boi. I am genderqueer. I bend. And I am attracted to other benders. Gimme a woman in a shirt and tie

over a girl in a dress any day. 


So, that's it in a nutshell, dykes. I am a boyish lessie who loves other boyish lessies. Hit me up if you know where the bois are.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Life Lesson: Having Standards is a GOOD THING!

Heya lovelies! So we meet again. Today, I have a lesson for you. It might be one you have already learned, it may be one you disagree with (though rest assured that if you disagree you ARE WRONG HERE), but no matter where you stand, I am going to teach it anyway. So, today, lovelies, we are going to talk about Boundaries.

We all have them. Those unspoken, unwritten lines that people are never to cross. Those positions that, when breached, mean that our relationships with the offending party are never quite the same again.

Well, all of y'all know that my biggest boundary is 


That is something that I am never to be pushed on, ever. I know this, anyone who truly knows me knows this, and most people behave accordingly. The ones who haven't are hardly people I feel like having around much. 

However, despite how hard and steadfast that boundary and others I might have are, dykes, even I have a hard time sticking to my guns. One such instance happened on a new website,, the other night. The girl I was talking to was perfect in every way. Firstly, she was OMFG SMOKIN' HOT.

To make it even better, she was a Feminist like me

and even defended me in the chat room when the non feminist lesbians were mean to me.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any better, she told me she lives near my dream home of 

Then, just when I thought I had found my match, she started judging me for not dating theists in private chat. All of a sudden, everything good went out the window as she became preachy and self- righteous, as is usually the hallmark of religious people. Suddenly, nothing else mattered. I knew she wasn't the one for me. It was that same sense of violation and resentment I felt when I finally opened my eyes in my last relationship.

Moral of the story, you ask, you dykedellic ladies?

No, for real. There is nothing wrong with having standards, girls. In fact, a girl with any self respect whatsoever doesn't settle. And, if you cannot agree on that particular point, remember this: If she breaches your boundaries at the outset, it means she has zero respect for how you feel, and it will continue. You'll  be a DOORMAT.

Believe me, you do not want that. And, if you do..well then there's probably not much hope for you. Don't ignore your boundaries, girl fags. You deserve respect. Demand it.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Series: Dykin' It Up:Episode 8: The Unconventionally Conventional Lesbian

Ya know, lovelies, we sure are having a lot of series posts lately, aren't we? But I think the last few have been wildly appropriate. At any rate, welcome to Episode 8! This is inspired by my now active quest for The Perfect Date.

Well, lesbos, it is no secret to anyone who knows me that Shannon has dated a literal PARADE of women over the years. But,alas, for one reason or another, none of these relationships were meant to be. So, after a little while, I decided to take time off from the dating scene and hit the books.

This served me well, because, other than a casual, on again off again situation of convenience and lots of reckless casual sex, I didn't have a girlfriend. I had time to figure out exactly what I wanted in a woman, and I did. Hence, I now have a totally honest and rad OKCUPID PROFILE.

Now, the profile is linked right there,ladies, for anyone single and on the prowl. *wink*

However, there is something that I have been doing wrong, even after figuring out what I want. I have been assuming that I am headed toward settled-ville, a la a 21st century lesbian version of Lloyd and June Cleaver from the old Leave It To Beaver show.

(closest I could find to a lesbian Lloyd and June so live with it)

While, yes, there are many lesbian couples who want the whole OMFG- house- with- a -white- picket- fence- with a 9-5 job and 2.5 kids and a dog....

In fact, the very idea makes me recoil in horror. Nope, I do not want a conventional lifestyle of imitation heterosexuality, lesbian style. The very idea makes me go

And run for the hills. Nope, not for Shannon, dykes. Wanna know what I do want? Well, whether  ya wanna know or not, I am going to tell you. I want, first of all, a gayborhood.

Yep, you heard me right. I'd much prefer a studio in the city surrounded by gay bars, coffee houses full of lesbians and vegan  eateries than a house in the 'burbs.

Also, I want a like- minded, stereotypical dyke. 

That's right! Someone who doesn't care about heteronormative living, but who will hang out with me in juice bars

Go to gay book stores

Talk Queer Feminist Politics

And just generally enjoy being queer in a queer environment sans all the wannabe straight BS that seems to be so prevalent these days. 

I want a sex positive, open to open relationships, out and proud, fight for our rights QUEER WOMAN, not an imitation heterosexual. 

So, there you have it, queermos. I finally found the missing piece to the puzzle of why things weren't working out. It was because I was trying to be conventional, when I am anything but. Or rather, I was trying to do heteronormative conventional, as many gays do. Hey, it works for some people, and I applaud anyone living their truth and their happiness. Fine for them. Not fine for me. I am an unconventionally conventional lesbian, and proud of it.