Am I in LOVE?!?!?!

Heya Dykes! I know it's been a hot minute since I posted, but I was away 

with only shitty motel internet. Apologies for the delay! I promise I got something that will make up for the wait! You see, homos, Shannon just might be on her way to gasp! 

Falling in LOVE!

Well, seeing as we just met yesterday, this proclamation is certainly more than a little premature. It is promising, though, because y'all know how long Shannon has been waiting to find OMFG THE ONE. You know, the key that fits into her ignition.

There have been many times it seemed this person had been found, but to no avail, so of course I am treading carefully. This time, though, it feels like it just might be that perfect balance.

Y'all know what I am talking about, right? Sometimes you just know, no doubts, no reservations. Looks very promising, as this person embodies all the things I love about queer life and then some. Firstly, and most importantly, Atheism.

And you fags know that is just about the biggest requirement dating wise for me. Even better, my feeling that

is shared, so I never have to worry about being offensive or respecting something that deserves nothing but contempt.

Secondly, Feminism.

with the understanding that 

thanks to the current GOP war on women, and is socially responsible enough to do something about it, so, of course, this person is also an Activist Like ME. 

What more could I ask for, you ask? Well, volunteering at 

with as big a passion for LGBT Equality as I have

Annnnddd...drumroll please! As if that wasn't enough, Vegetarian Eating!

Y'all know I love some health food that keeps you looking good and feeling even better. With my recent commitment to juicing

someone who shares my commitment to healthy, environmentally responsible eating definitely rocks, and is the tastiest icing on an already perfect cake.

Oh, and as if all that weren't enough, my Non Monogamous Ways are embraced!

Again, what more could I ask for?

Hooray for Compatible Lesbian Love!

Life Lesson: Having Standards is a GOOD THING!

Heya lovelies! So we meet again. Today, I have a lesson for you. It might be one you have already learned, it may be one you disagree with (though rest assured that if you disagree you ARE WRONG HERE), but no matter where you stand, I am going to teach it anyway. So, today, lovelies, we are going to talk about Boundaries.

We all have them. Those unspoken, unwritten lines that people are never to cross. Those positions that, when breached, mean that our relationships with the offending party are never quite the same again.

Well, all of y'all know that my biggest boundary is 

RELIGION.

That is something that I am never to be pushed on, ever. I know this, anyone who truly knows me knows this, and most people behave accordingly. The ones who haven't are hardly people I feel like having around much. 

However, despite how hard and steadfast that boundary and others I might have are, dykes, even I have a hard time sticking to my guns. One such instance happened on a new website, Shoe.org, the other night. The girl I was talking to was perfect in every way. Firstly, she was OMFG SMOKIN' HOT.

To make it even better, she was a Feminist like me

and even defended me in the chat room when the non feminist lesbians were mean to me.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any better, she told me she lives near my dream home of 

SUPER GAY SAN FRANCISCO!

Then, just when I thought I had found my match, she started judging me for not dating theists in private chat. All of a sudden, everything good went out the window as she became preachy and self- righteous, as is usually the hallmark of religious people. Suddenly, nothing else mattered. I knew she wasn't the one for me. It was that same sense of violation and resentment I felt when I finally opened my eyes in my last relationship.

Moral of the story, you ask, you dykedellic ladies?

No, for real. There is nothing wrong with having standards, girls. In fact, a girl with any self respect whatsoever doesn't settle. And, if you cannot agree on that particular point, remember this: If she breaches your boundaries at the outset, it means she has zero respect for how you feel, and it will continue. You'll  be a DOORMAT.

Believe me, you do not want that. And, if you do..well then there's probably not much hope for you. Don't ignore your boundaries, girl fags. You deserve respect. Demand it.

Series: Dykin' It Up:Episode 8: The Unconventionally Conventional Lesbian

Ya know, lovelies, we sure are having a lot of series posts lately, aren't we? But I think the last few have been wildly appropriate. At any rate, welcome to Episode 8! This is inspired by my now active quest for The Perfect Date.

Well, lesbos, it is no secret to anyone who knows me that Shannon has dated a literal PARADE of women over the years. But,alas, for one reason or another, none of these relationships were meant to be. So, after a little while, I decided to take time off from the dating scene and hit the books.

This served me well, because, other than a casual, on again off again situation of convenience and lots of reckless casual sex, I didn't have a girlfriend. I had time to figure out exactly what I wanted in a woman, and I did. Hence, I now have a totally honest and rad OKCUPID PROFILE.

Now, the profile is linked right there,ladies, for anyone single and on the prowl. *wink*

However, there is something that I have been doing wrong, even after figuring out what I want. I have been assuming that I am headed toward settled-ville, a la a 21st century lesbian version of Lloyd and June Cleaver from the old Leave It To Beaver show.

(closest I could find to a lesbian Lloyd and June so live with it)

While, yes, there are many lesbian couples who want the whole OMFG- house- with- a -white- picket- fence- with a 9-5 job and 2.5 kids and a dog....

I AM NOT ONE OF THEM.

In fact, the very idea makes me recoil in horror. Nope, I do not want a conventional lifestyle of imitation heterosexuality, lesbian style. The very idea makes me go

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

And run for the hills. Nope, not for Shannon, dykes. Wanna know what I do want? Well, whether  ya wanna know or not, I am going to tell you. I want, first of all, a gayborhood.

Yep, you heard me right. I'd much prefer a studio in the city surrounded by gay bars, coffee houses full of lesbians and vegan  eateries than a house in the 'burbs.

Also, I want a like- minded, stereotypical dyke. 

That's right! Someone who doesn't care about heteronormative living, but who will hang out with me in juice bars

Go to gay book stores

Talk Queer Feminist Politics

And just generally enjoy being queer in a queer environment sans all the wannabe straight BS that seems to be so prevalent these days. 

I want a sex positive, open to open relationships, out and proud, fight for our rights QUEER WOMAN, not an imitation heterosexual. 

So, there you have it, queermos. I finally found the missing piece to the puzzle of why things weren't working out. It was because I was trying to be conventional, when I am anything but. Or rather, I was trying to do heteronormative conventional, as many gays do. Hey, it works for some people, and I applaud anyone living their truth and their happiness. Fine for them. Not fine for me. I am an unconventionally conventional lesbian, and proud of it. 

HOORAY FOR SELF DISCOVERY!