Series: Dykin' It Up:Episode 8: The Unconventionally Conventional Lesbian

Ya know, lovelies, we sure are having a lot of series posts lately, aren't we? But I think the last few have been wildly appropriate. At any rate, welcome to Episode 8! This is inspired by my now active quest for The Perfect Date.

Well, lesbos, it is no secret to anyone who knows me that Shannon has dated a literal PARADE of women over the years. But,alas, for one reason or another, none of these relationships were meant to be. So, after a little while, I decided to take time off from the dating scene and hit the books.

This served me well, because, other than a casual, on again off again situation of convenience and lots of reckless casual sex, I didn't have a girlfriend. I had time to figure out exactly what I wanted in a woman, and I did. Hence, I now have a totally honest and rad OKCUPID PROFILE.

Now, the profile is linked right there,ladies, for anyone single and on the prowl. *wink*

However, there is something that I have been doing wrong, even after figuring out what I want. I have been assuming that I am headed toward settled-ville, a la a 21st century lesbian version of Lloyd and June Cleaver from the old Leave It To Beaver show.

(closest I could find to a lesbian Lloyd and June so live with it)

While, yes, there are many lesbian couples who want the whole OMFG- house- with- a -white- picket- fence- with a 9-5 job and 2.5 kids and a dog....

I AM NOT ONE OF THEM.

In fact, the very idea makes me recoil in horror. Nope, I do not want a conventional lifestyle of imitation heterosexuality, lesbian style. The very idea makes me go

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

And run for the hills. Nope, not for Shannon, dykes. Wanna know what I do want? Well, whether  ya wanna know or not, I am going to tell you. I want, first of all, a gayborhood.

Yep, you heard me right. I'd much prefer a studio in the city surrounded by gay bars, coffee houses full of lesbians and vegan  eateries than a house in the 'burbs.

Also, I want a like- minded, stereotypical dyke. 

That's right! Someone who doesn't care about heteronormative living, but who will hang out with me in juice bars

Go to gay book stores

Talk Queer Feminist Politics

And just generally enjoy being queer in a queer environment sans all the wannabe straight BS that seems to be so prevalent these days. 

I want a sex positive, open to open relationships, out and proud, fight for our rights QUEER WOMAN, not an imitation heterosexual. 

So, there you have it, queermos. I finally found the missing piece to the puzzle of why things weren't working out. It was because I was trying to be conventional, when I am anything but. Or rather, I was trying to do heteronormative conventional, as many gays do. Hey, it works for some people, and I applaud anyone living their truth and their happiness. Fine for them. Not fine for me. I am an unconventionally conventional lesbian, and proud of it. 

HOORAY FOR SELF DISCOVERY!

Homos, Homos, EVERYWHERE!

Well dykes, now that I have graduated, and have definite plans to move away from this homophobic southern hellhole, I am in limbo. I spend my days working back in the old school bookstore

while I wait to leave. 

Now, 'mos, as you can well guess, this environment, while far from a terrible job, is often a bastion of heteronormativity, which can be quite overwhelming for a dyke like me.

But, little did I know, yesterday, there was gasp! relief on the horizon. As I was busily stocking shelves and assisting customers, in walk these two adorable gay guys. 

It seemed that their gaydar went off with me immediately (as it almost always does when I encounter family), and they made an OMFG BEELINE FOR ME before another associate could approach them. They were soooo cute and sweet,and promised to ask for me when they returned. I looked happily after them as they left, with warm rainbow hearts in my eyes and a great warm fuzzy feeling that only other queers can give me.

Annndd.... 

As if that weren't enough of a treat, the cute little butch dyke that always asks to be waited on by me came in like an hour after my new gay boy pals! 

SQUEEAALLLL!!!!

She's been coming in every semester asking me to collect her books for her since I've been working there. Of course, she, too, immediately felt that BLUE STREAK OF RECOGNITION that all queers feel when we encounter one of our own. She has the cutest green shamrock tattoo on her neck, and always has a kind word and a smile for me, and lets me know she knows with her smile and her wink(not to mention the double venus necklace).

Of course, she's a baby dyke, and even if I were single(happily, I am not!) I wouldn't date her. But, once again, it's refreshing to find a little gay even in the straightest of environments.

Here's to making life more bearable in hetero land. 

*SIGH OF CONTENTMENT*