How Was Your Fourth of July?

Mine was..interesting, to say the least. First off it RAINED AND STORMED just as we were getting the grill going. 

As if that weren't bad enough, my uncle got ROARING DRUNK and passed out early. 

   So Mom was not a happy camper, because the one who was supposed to be helping her grill was passed out drunk, and she was stuck grilling in the rain alone, as there are very few people she trusts to help her grill. 

   

But, other than that, and the fact that everyone was starving and we didn't eat until OMFG OH DARK THIRTY (AKA 11 PM in this instance) the annual family fourth of July cook out went off without a hitch. A bit of a rarity for my family, but other than the general rowdiness that is to be expected at any gathering of extended family, it went just fine. So tell me, 'mos, how was YOUR Independence Day? 

Looking Forward To The Family BBQ- or NOT!

Ok, 'mosexuals, now that I have done the decent, diplomatic thing and done a sweet little blog post about how I am going to enjoy the holiday and appreciate this country even though I am not an equal citizen and blah blah blah...HERE IS THE REAL DEAL.

Instead of spending the holiday celebrating a country that doesn't give two shits about me, but expects me to care about it drinking with other pissed of queers like I should be, I am, instead, spending it at the annual family BBQ.

Now, ladies, you know I love my family. I really do. But they are the types of people who I can only take in OMFG SUPER DUPER SMALL DOSES. Especially when it comes to my extended family.

We are talking about an entire day and evening with bunches of OMFG SUPER DUPER RELIGIOUS SOUTHERN BAPTISTS....and me.

  

 I figure the only way to get through this event, dykes, is, of course, the old stand by:

BOOZE.

And lots of it. Hell, by the time this day is done, all you lucky 'mos who got to spend the holiday partying like normal young, single queers ought to pitch in and get me one of these.

Oughta be enough to keep me in a drunken stupor until I leave this place...or at least preserve my sanity through whatever family time I am forced to endure until then. 

Oh well, at least the food will be good! 

As will the entertainment, should Dad get drunk and try to use the grill and almost set himself on fire like he did last year.

(true story)

And hey, let's face it, despite our differences, they are still my family, and this is, quite possibly, the last time I will be in the same state that they are in for a major holiday, ever. As happy as I am about that, it is all so bittersweet, because it really should be different, right? Yup, I know I am right. So, I'll get drunk like good queers do on holidays, eat too much, and, most of all, control my temper and remember how lucky I am to have three living grandparents at the age of 30. Hope you guys have fun doing whatever it is you do. And, oh yeah, to those of you having better holidays than I am...Don't forget my booze,mmmk? Something tells me I'm gonna need it.

   

Happy Independence Day, Dykes!

Well, this great country of ours is 235 years old as of midnight! Ain't that somethin'? Admittedly I am not all that patriotic, considering the whole second class citizen thing and how pissed off I am about that. It is, however, a great excuse to party!

So put your party hats on, fire up the grill, booze it up, shoot those fireworks, and celebrate our nation's birthday in style! Happy Fourth of July 2011, Lesbians! 

And let's try not to be tooooo pissed off at our nation for at least one day, mmmmmk? Could be a lot worse. Happy Birthday, America!