Thursday, March 29, 2012

Series: Dykin' It Up: Episode 7: The Later in Life Lesbian

Well, here's something a little different for the 7th installment in our Dykin' It Up series, 'mos. Today, we are going to talk about the Later In Life Lesbian.

Ok, dykes. I admit it. I rarely think of these lovely ladies who wait well into adulthood to come out. I am one of those authentic, born this way gays who couldn't fathom being with a man. To that end, the thought never crosses my  mind. I've dated three women who sorta kinda had this story, and all three times it was a disaster, so I wrote off the possibility of it working. However, a few days ago, a great, big, glaring light bulb came on.

(shocking I know)

I ran across a totally awesome blog by a truly rad later in life lesbian named Mary. She is the proprietor of Gay Girl Dating Coach, and this post grabbed me so much that I left several posts on her blog, as well as directed a couple of buddies in the same boat to her, and, of course, I am dedicating this post to her, because I think she offers a very healthy perspective on this issue. Most traditional, lifelong gays, including myself, have a hard time with dating someone whose story is so vastly different, and that's ok. As Mary says, we all take our own paths. However, there is a way to voice things without hurting others. Mary calls the dykes who turn their noses up in a rude way Mean Girls.

And, in a way, she is right. We traditional gays have a sense of what I like to call "gay elitism," simply because we knew earlier, and we are suspicious of those who do not fit. She spoke of a hurtful comment left where she was accused of being LESS OF A LESBIAN.

I was a bit taken aback at that, because, no matter the issues I might have dating wise, I know quite a few later in life lesbians who are just as dykey as I am, so this assertion based upon one's past is patently false. Moral of the story: we're all different. Don't hate. Don't judge. Just do you. We're all dykes, and we're all in this together.

And, oh yeah, her totally fab blog is going into my side bar here, so read it, dammit! And like her Facebook Page. You won't be sorry! 

Friday, March 23, 2012

Dharun Ravi: Rightfully Convicted or Unfairly Sacrificed?

Alrighty, Queermosexuals, I couldn't keep my mouth shut on this one. This is hardly a political blog, but, sometimes, in the middle of this culture war, gay life gets more than a little political for all of us (or rather, it does if you are responsible and doing your part). So, to that end, this blog post will be devoted to the serving of justice for one of our many dearly departed brethren, Tyler Clementi. 

And Yes, I am posting Tyler with his violin, because I want everyone reading this to remember him that way, to remember what an amazingly talented young man we lost. I also want people to see him as a person, not as a martyr or a political pawn. Now, that being said, on to the subject of the title- his Tormentor, Dharun Ravi. 

In what later became known as the Rutgers Spycam Case, Dharun Ravi invaded his roommate's private encounter with a webcam, thus, outing him as homosexual. Anyone who has ever been outed knows what that can do to you, and what it can cost you. Therefore, I personally absolutely believe that the next event- Tyler's jumping from the George Washington bridge in one of the most high profile LGBT suicides ever- had a direct correlation to what Ravi did. 

However, many people beg to differ. They say that Ravi holds no role or responsibility, that what he did was a prank gone horribly wrong, that he holds no responsibility in Tyler Clement's death. I obviously disagree. For one, this was not a "prank." This was a deliberate effort, to, for whatever reason, humiliate his gay roommate. Hence, the bias intimidation charges are definitely legitimate. Anyone with a brain knows that this would never have been an issue at all had Tyler been straight. As almost anyone reading this blog knows, nobody ever humiliates anyone for being heterosexual. 

But Ravi's supporters are calling us a lynch mob out for blood, and trying to paint Ravi as a sacrificial lamb in a situation that has long been out of control. To some degree, that may be true. We rarely have names, faces, and evidence to be able to prosecute these cases. When we finally get one where we know who is responsible and can prove it, we go for the jugular. 

I'll be honest. I sat the fence for a minute. As I participated in Dharun Ravi's digital lynching, I wondered if I was doing the right thing, if this was just a college kid in over his head who could not possibly have known what his moment of fun was going to land him. Then I watched this video.

The kid, even after all this time, paints himself as a victim, deflects blame, and essentially shows zero remorse for what he has done. So, in short, yes, the verdict was right. Guilty on all counts, including bias intimidation. Rest in peace, Tyler. Justice was served.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

It's My Birthday, Y'all!

Yup, Lovelies, I am turning thirty- one today. Blech! Gettin' old. I mean it this time. In fact

has been steadily stalking my email inboxes. Also, I found gasp! yet another gray hair

just a few weeks ago, putting my grand total up to two. However...never fear!

Shannon is giving herself the best birthday gift of all: the gift of 

Let me tell ya lovelies, this is a much needed gift, because my anti- theist RAGE has been consuming me in epic proportions lately. This is unsurprising, because as we all know by now..


However, since I do not have the power to deprogram the world's theists, but can hardly tolerate completely ignoring them, I have done the next best thing, and given myself the gift of secular humanism.

Same thing as atheism, minus the need for rage, and with a bonafide Humanist Manifesto that is a perfectly wonderful way to answer the questions about morals and values to theists, and great ways to keep from going all nutso on them. This was greatly needed. Happy Birthday to me indeed. I do recommend reading the Manifesto linked here, dykes. I promise you, better than any false holy book, guaranteed. Morality minus the dieties and the guilt. Sounds good to me!